Sheikh Khaled Abdelhamid El Azhary
Undoubtedly Youth is the most impressionable age. It means not only a soul saved, but a life saved too. It means that one’s best days can be dedicated to the glory of God. Allah will ask us about our age and about our youth — Allah promised the paradise for youth who devout their times and health for the sake of Allah

The message we are delivering here targets the role of the family (i.e. the parents) not the society. As I mentioned at the first khutba that the most important reason behind the weakness of Muslim nations is the misunderstanding of Allah’s revelation.

Many parents called me asking about the solutions of their children’ problems
They are uncontrollable, naughty, involved in illegal activities, hooked up in obscene relationships. Facing these problems in the west is very different from facing them back home in Egypt, for example, or, in Saudi Arabia, or in Pakistan, or in Lebanon, or in Somalia. What makes it different here? It is the culture. The moral matters are at stake here. So, I chose this topic hoping to find answers and solutions to many problems which burden and destroy many Islamic families in the west, in general and here in Canada in particular.

The family bears the responsibility of mishandling the sexual concerns of their teenagers, and even worse the parents many times, do not respect their children and ignore the fact that their children are no longer children; they are adults.

Adding insult to injury, the parents rely often on punishment to reform their children without realizing the bad consequences of punishment, or even without explaining the reason behind prohibitions.

We should not take family as the scapegoat, the youth also bear the responsibility of falling into the trap of cohabitation, Just imagine you daughter coming after school day with aboy and telling you dad……… I’m having a boyfriend (boyfriend and girlfriend), mistreatment of the technology especially the internet which once was a blessed tool for knowledge, now it is a curse. Teenagers log into the internet to watch porn or (engage in illegal acquaintances) get involved with unknown people. Sometimes a young girl gets involved in dating online and she doesn’t even know the persons she is speaking with.

If we want to understand our future we should learn from our past , our history and our religion
So let us know The Prophetic method in dealing with sexual matters with youth:

A young man came to the Prophet (SAWS) and asked him permission fornication to having sex with a woman. The companions were angry at him, while the Prophet (SAWS) remained calm. It was narrated that the Prophet (SAWS) asked the young man if he would approve this fornication to be committed upon his mother. The young man replied negatively, then he (SAWS) asked him if he would accept it to his sister, and again the young man replied with a big no, then the Prophet (SAWS) asked him if he would approve it to his aunt. The young man replied with a no once more. The Prophet (SAWS) told him that people would deny this exactly as he did. Then the Prophet (SAWS) invocated Allah (SWT) to grant this young man strength and guidance.

Notice that the Prophet (SAWS) did not humiliate or scold the young man but he rather taught him in a gentle calm way. There are few main points that parents should communicate to their sons and daughters:

From this Hadith, we can consider our prophet the founder of a new theory in education of the youth; he advocates the principle of holding yourself accountable of your misdeeds and considering that you can be the victimized because of other one wrong doings. The prophet puts the oppressor in the shoes of the victim, the prophet puts you in the spot…for just a second…This is like the musical chairs, what if you’re in this place, what is you’re in this spot…what if your mother or sister is the victim.

The prophet doesn’t want the youth to rely on direct guidance, on the contrary, he shows the negative effects of the wrong doings, and then he left the youth to himself/ or herself….this goes in concert with the nature of the rebellious nature of the youth, the prophet also instills in the youth the ability of taking the right decision independently, with his guidance to the right path.

To sum up, thera are many points to ponder in the intrect relationship between teenagar and their parents:

1. Sex is not a game but is sacred and honorable with noble goals.
2. Sexual harassment leads to falling into complete sex.
3. Having sex without marriage is highly despised and leads to Allah’s Wrath.
4. Involvement in illegitimate sex has destructive consequences on the future of the adolescents and causes incurable damage in his/her personality.

The right way is that parents should talk with their kids and bring up the issue gradually. The talk should flow in proper, calm, respectable and friendly emotional manner. They should also make brainstorming with their kids as a means to get the kids involved in reaching the right solutions.

Sheikh Khaled Abdelhamid El Azhary is the Imam at Ottawa Mosque, Ottawa Canada. This article was published at Imam’s blog and now being shared with LinkMuslims.com readers with Imam’s kind permission.